the [Queen] of wishful thinking.

where I think about (and miss) Pat. FML

talked to my boss this morning and it was absolutely horrible. I want to forget it and pretend like it never happened. it was like my eyes were filling up and I had to focus everything I had on keeping the tears in them. I have never been so glad to leave that office. another happy thought: it’s been two days since Justin asked for my number and I definitely haven’t heard from him. I was sitting with my roommate while she was trying to work out a calc problem I couldn’t solve when he called her last night and asked her to come help him with his laundry. so that has been disappointing too. the only thing I have to look forward to right now is my 21st birthday and a couple shows, and none of that stuff is until october or later. so yay, life is wonderful.

so here I am getting home from work at 1:30 after working since 6:00 and I call my roommate to see if these boys she said were coming over would still be here so I can find out if I should be prepared to slip into a skirt and down some shots or what.

first of all, she acts all shocked that I’m just getting off, which yeah, it is pretty late, but then she’s like “I thought you were scheduled until 11:30.” and it’s like yeah, I was and I told you I wouldn’t actually get off until much later once we actually finished everything. I know you heard me because you said you should just say you can’t stay that late because you have things to do” and I gawked at you like what planet do you live on? one without responsibilities where you don’t actually have to do any work? oh wait, i forgot you pretty much do. every time i come into your job you’re sitting around drawing or you might call me and ask me to bring a book in for you to read because you’re bored there. and you’re a manager. but anyway, the point: why do you act surprised when by something I already told you earlier? honestly. don’t be stupid.

second, she says no one came over and that they just ended up going over to the guys house instead. “oh, and my car’s in the parking spot by the way. I just wanted you to know so when you came home and couldn’t find parking.” (her car just got fixed after not working and sitting permanently parked in the closest street parking for over a month) and it’s like oh, really? you wanted to make sure I knew. which is why I’m finding out from me calling you. two hours after you apparently thought I would be getting off. right.

so here I am driving around and around my neighborhood at 1:30 in the morning. no fucking parking. I’m getting pretty livid. because who the fuck cares if you’ve just got your car back after not having it? no one should have to work 7 hours, get off at 1:30 and attempt to backwards parallel park way down the street in the creepy ghetto ass area and walk home by themselves. jesus christ.

so yeah, I’m irritated. and then I walk in the door. no one’s home. perhaps for the best… because I would surely make some bitchy snotty remark. but then it dawns on me, if you’re at that guy’s house still and you didn’t even take your car, how fucking early did you come home and decide that you should be able to claim the spot knowing I would be off work late and you were going to be taking someone else’s car to wherever you were going? how much street parking was there at that hour? i bet a hell of a lot more than when I got home.

honestly, it fucking pisses me off. no regard. you spent all day sitting around playing dress up and straightening your hair, going out shopping with jillian, and then claiming the spot, leaving in jillian’s car, and going out. here i am, the only hardworking person in this apartment, coming home late after being a retail slave all night, and i get to walk home from a really creepy area where even my pepper spray doesn’t make me feel safe. brilliant.

and don’t act like you deserve the spot immediately because you haven’t used it in a month. not having the parking spot is absolutely not a hardship when you don’t have a car and have to deal with finding parking elsewhere. hell, your parents bought you a cute red bike and you never used it, choosing instead to bum rides off people and use up their gas money; obviously you’re entitled to automatically get the parking spot now that you suddenly have a car.