the [Queen] of wishful thinking.

can I please, please, PLEASE just find and lock in an apartment in Tempe so I can enjoy this time and not spend it freaking out about being homeless???!?! jesus.

I’m getting paid tomorrow and literally my entire pathetic little paycheck is going toward paying for my fucking gym membership. other than that, I will have about $100 of “wealthy grandparent allowance” to live off until my next payday. (or actually my babysitting job next weekend.)

I am going to start budgeting myself. I am going to quit my glorious but overpriced gym tomorrow. I will save my receipts and every single thing I buy I will write down in my planner. other than buying bread and milk and produce, I will not buy any new food and I will just use things I already have in my cabinet/refrigerator/freezer. also, I’m going to start saving a little bit of money from each paycheck, even if it’s just $5.

• geography is the bane of my existence and I have 40 questions to answer and email to my teacher by 11 tonight, along with everything else I have to do.
• I’ve barely slept the last two nights.
• I have terrible taste in guys.
• I have no money.
• I don’t really care for either of my two jobs at the moment.
• I have another speeding ticket to take care of and so far I haven’t managed to get up early enough to go to walk-in court. it has to be taken care of by monday.
• I’ve been looking forward to the movie, Easy A, coming out for weeks and was quite excited to go to the midnight showing thursday night with my roomies because there is ALWAYS a midnight showing at regal. there isn’t a midnight showing at regal.
• the only thing I definitely had planned for my 21st birthday in a couple weeks was going to lovefest. lovefest is canceled.
• most of my friends aren’t 21 and none of them have fake IDs, so now I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing for my birthday. also, my birthday is on a sunday.
• I’m sure there are other reasons, but I’m too busy hating my life/stressing out about everything to think of them.

really, fuck boys. i just flat out give the eff up. there is no freakin way to win. i try and i try and i try… and i finally think i have got it right; the healthiest attitude to a hook up possibly ever: just the right amount of expectation, knowing that it’s super casual, assuming there will be other girls, but taking his word that this isn’t a one time thing.

but NOOOOO. why do guys feel the need to lie? if you were honest about your intentions, i’d probably still be okay with that. actually yeah, a good majority of the time, i’d be okay with that because i know what’s up and i know what to expect. but when guys just say complete bullshit they think girls want to hear to get what they want… jesus christ, i just want to kill them. 

there is honestly nothing that is safe. i try to be jaded and cynical and not get attached and it just doesn’t work. YOU JUST CAN’T TRUST GUYS. i don’t know what to do anymore short of becoming completely celibate or a nun or something unfortunate like that. 

so here i am AGAIN throwing myself into school because that is pretty much all i have.

I saw this on twitter so it basically cut off after “my dad started to chuckle” until you followed the link. I totally thought the dad was chuckling because she now qualified to be on “16 and Pregnant”. this is still good though. her dad pretty much pwned her.

i honestly just need fucking spring break so bad. maybe i’m just about to flip my shit because this weekend was so retarded and drama-filled and i actually worked a decent amount and whatnot. i got no homework done and i really didn’t relax either. but whatever reason, i cannot make myself give a crap about school right now. i just want to sleep and do pretty much nothing and fool around. 

i feel like i won’t sit still but i don’t really have a choice. or like when i’m a passenger or in the backseat of someone’s car, and suddenly my seatbelt (which has never bothered me when i was driving) feels extremely uncomfortable and i don’t want to wear it.

i’m just not in the mind for school. i don’t want to go, i don’t want to do homework, i don’t want any of it. just spring break like everyone else is getting right now.

fmylife:

Today, while I was nearing completion on a ridiculously long assignment that was due in a few hours, my drunk roommate stumbled through the living room, tripped over my Ethernet cable, and yanked my laptop to the hardwood floor, breaking it in half. He then vomited upon the halves. FML

I have had this kind of complete shit roommate. she never did anything like that, but I could see it happening. I know in college teachers aren’t supposed to be quite as understanding as they were in high school, but there HAS to be some sort of break from a teacher for that. it’s just too ridiculously fucked up.

fmylife:

Today, my mother gave my daughter a behavior chart. I noticed that “drinking beer” was at the top of one of the columns. It’s a chart for my daughter to use on me so my mother can judge my parenting skills. I am currently losing a sticker right now for being on the computer. FML

classic!

Today, I was in line in the grocery store with my 3 year old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had a cow with sunglasses on on it. He shouted, “Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!” To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

and seeing all the cute clothes in my closet sucks because the majority of it i once envisioned wearing while hanging out or on a date with you, and just about everything in there i imagined if you would like it on me when i bought it.