the [Queen] of wishful thinking.

no joke. go put on some heels and get hot, go out with your girls, and go get hit on. super confidence boost, free alcohol, and occasionally you actually do get lucky.

I’ve given my number to so many guys at AZ bars who have asked for it, and had absolutely nothing come of it. that’s fine. and maybe going out and getting plastered is not the most fulfilling way to spend your nights. but it’s college… and it’s not like I have some perfect guy who’s chillin on the sidelines, interested and willing to treat me the way I actually deserve. there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it.

it totally varies too. I went out with Robyn the last three nights. wednesday night, after the ASU bball game, we went to Mill Avenue and went to this private party for this bar’s anniversary. pretty unsuccessful in terms of guys, but I mingled, was friendly, ate and drank for free. still a win. 

thursday night we went to this bar on University, Devil’s Advocate, for their Thirsty Thursdays. at first, I was way too sober and it was way too boring and mega awkward. the highlight of the beginning of the night was meeting senior safety Eddie Elders and another guy from the football team whose name I didn’t catch… and that wasn’t even cool. literally waiting in line to buy the first round and their friend comes up and taps me and says these guys want to meet us and they’re on the football team, and then they didn’t actually seem like they wanted to meet us. and then Robyn asked them who they were and they seemed pissed. so yeah, I started off being butthurt that I met my first ASU football player in real life and it was disappointing. as the night wore on, I got hit on by one guy who was a little too clingy (and “all about me right then” meanwhile I was more interested in some random kid I was trying to have a side conversation with), flirted with some hotties, and ultimately ended up hanging out with a guy who bought me two drinks, a philly cheesesteak after we left the bar, and pizza for my friend… and then asked me out on a movie date. also a win.

however, after all this, I would say that friday was really my night to shine. Robyn and I went to Old Town Scottsdale. the first club we went to was hosting a party for the Cardinals football team. at first, it didn’t seem to be a very successful stop. while ordering our first round or two at the bar with no beer goggle impairment, I immediately spotted the hottest guy in the club and pointed him out to my friend, knowing that realistically he’s out of my league. we’re drinking and dancing a little, not getting hit on, every girl in the damn club has hella junk in the trunk so I have nothing special to offer… eventually Robyn points out Mr. Hottest Guy in the Club being grinded on by some girl who can only be described as a grenade. I voice my disgust and keep scanning the club for any other standouts. and then the The Hottest Guy in the Club and I make eye contact and he comes over to me and asks if I wanna go out to the patio with him. first, let me just say that he had a very cute accent and I found out he was from France… and had modeled a bit. We talk on the patio, he gets my number, we go back in and dance, make out but he doesn’t try to go further, he buys me AND Robyn shots, he waits for me while I go to the bathroom… basically, he’s perfect.

but then of course Robyn gets bored of this club where none of the guys are her type and she drags me off to another club. we get a ride on a bike cab with this cute guy. we go to go inside club #2 and this dumb bitch realizes she doesn’t have her ID because she left her tab open at club #1. Robyn flags down the cute bike cabbie and tells me to go back and close my tab and meet her at the second club. I immediately panic a little because I don’t have any cash and no way to tip/pay the bike cabbie, he says he’s got it and he takes me back, waits for me while I close my tab, and then gives me a ride back. he’s also french by the way. we get there and he says he’ll come in for a drink with me. feeling bad about the free rides, I offer to buy his beer… and then my card gets declined making me feel ever worse. so he pays for my beer and we go sit on the deck where he seems to know all the bar staff and everyone since he’s a local. we sit and talk and hang out and before we leave for closing, his friends give us all shots of jaeger… I ended up with two. he took Robyn and I over to the Philadelphia Sandwich Co. and stayed and hung out with us where we made out and canoodled and I managed to get a philly cheesesteak for free from the kitchen boys. super successful night.

we then come back to Tempe to go to the hookah bar where Robyn likes the manager because it is now my turn to be a good winglady. I watch a movie and sit and hang out with these freshman boys who are there until the hookah bar closes at 4 and they get kicked out. my friend is still canoodling with the manager so I pass out in the hookah bar “looking like a dead hooker on SVU” apparently. by 7 am, I am cold and uncomfortable and want to get out of there, so Robyn takes me home to change and then out to breakfast at my new favorite place… the Waffle House… hashbrowns smothered, covered, and topped aka with chili, cheese, and onions = heaven. eventually I get home, soak in the tub, and sleep for about an hour before I wake up to texts from all 3 of the guys from the last two nights. 

and the summary of this story is… Pat who? which is how it should be. The end.